Chapter 1-Fire and Portals

Yesterday our D&D group met again for the first time in two months (a bit longer for me, because I missed the last one). The day before, our DM warned us not to tick him off, or he would send us down a portal to a “My little Pony” world. We vowed not to enter any portal that he placed before us. As the story left off, I was left behind in a bar as the others went to the dungeon. I don’t actually know anything that happened in the bar, but my character is a Paladin (named a’Paddlin), so it’s physically impossible for him to get drunk. My waterskin was mysteriously full of beer. They accidentally used a mysterious orb to teleport me to the dungeon (and swap places with a guy that wasn't there that day, two birds with one stone [actually 3 birds, now we knew what the stone did]).

I was rather astonished to find a couple of dead monsters on the ground and a bed on fire. Apparently Nova was standing on the bed when Zulu threw a torch at the monster he was fighting.

So, anyway, we went to this room and almost didn’t notice the somewhat large pit that was at the top of the stairs (a rather inconvenient place for a pit, let me tell you). I dropped a torch down and woke up some angry bats (we had been having some trouble with bats recently).

Using some fancy minor actions with my beer-water-skin and lighting my sword on fire, I lit the war bat (oh did I  mention the bat was giant?)  on fire. Unfortunately, poor Nova (who was having a bad day for fire and happened to be pinning down the bat at the time) caught on fire as well. He remained on fire for the rest of the battle until one person remembered his “create water” spell.

So we killed the remaining bats, crossed the 100-foot pit using my wisdom powers and a bookshelf, and entered a room with a big chair. Past that was a room with… a giant portal.

Look back to the beginning of this post for a moment. There was a portal. We couldn’t figure out what to do next, so, naturally, my next line was “I enter the portal”. Lucky for me, it vanished just as I tried. So we were still stuck. The bookshelf had already fallen down, and we couldn’t get back. So I licked my finger and put it in the air. I noticed a breeze and we escaped by a mechanical mechanism under the chair and a hallway that required us to sacrifice our drunk dog’s barrel. As a cliffhanger, we were all nearly consumed by giant globs of acidic goop cubes. Halfway through the battle, everyone had to head home. The end.

Important Note: This was written a couple of months ago. My narrating skills have, in fact, improved since then.

Prologue-Creating the World

You may notice that this begins in the middle of the story. That's because I believe this sort of story has no real beginning. From the time that people first began to imagine strange fantasy worlds, they worked from everything around them. They dreamed of finding glory in slaying dragons, and visions of goblins haunted their dreams.

And then time froze.

Oh, sure, the world spun onward, as it does. But everything they imagined stayed in its own time, growing into a world that seems ever more impossible, yet increasingly real. There's a reason that most fantasy novels are set in the past.

My friends and I began our quest so that we could become a part of a story that is more than anything that's ever been written about it, and I'm writing this now so that everything we did won't be lost.

In regular speech, my friends and I started a Dungeons and Dragons group (don't judge me) and now I'm going to write the story.

I play as a character by the name "James A'Paddlin".
Let's begin.

For more information about our group, go to swiggingwaterskins.blogspot.com

That's our DM's journal.