Chapter 1-Welcome Back

            “Four days.

            “Four days is a long time to go without food or fresh water.”

            I’m going to start including these little italic interludes of narrative. I hope you like them.

            I've enjoyed being in his group. But once again, I find myself starting after the last meeting of pathfinder. That’s just how long it took to describe my old group.

           Ah, well. Upward and onward.

           “Silence filled the bubble. The Captain was fiddling with his rapier, and Shady was experimenting with how long the spell would hold if he poked the wall with a knife. Belial did his best to be invisible until his master needed him, while John nervously shied away. The monk sat in silence, contemplating the many ways a man could die.

            “Finally the Captain stirred.

            “ ‘Are we there yet?’ ”

The group descended slowly through the water on some magical platform. The meeting began when they reached their destination.

            They found themselves in a small cave. Shady immediately checked for traps and, finding none, proceeded to a low archway. This lead to a series of rather predictable events. Shady checked for traps and, finding none, finally noticed the weirdo off to the side who was holding himself and rocking back and forth, whimpering.

Character profile: The Monk

            Race: Tengu (or something)

            Class: Monk

            Appearance: Giant bird with a cloak. Think Ra’zac.

            Preferred weapons: Hand 1 and Hand 2

            Alternate weapons: Is literally proficient with everything. Swords, arrows, lances, chairs…

            Other traits: Sworn to silence (he finds ways around that). Can also throw anything, regardless of weight.

            Interests: Punching, kicking, throwing, killing, and collecting human bones.

Yes, the strange boy was me. Not the Monk, the one rocking back and forth. Thus Hans’s story continues. How do you like the profile thing? I think it’s pretty cool. At any rate, I have to apologize for the lack of sheep in my entrancé.

Ignoring me, Shady continued forward, only to be attacked by an evil plant. Three minutes later, they continued forward again. Coming upon a fork in the road, the Captain went one way and everyone else the other (except me, because I’m still in the corner feeling sorry for myself). Observing the group (the Captain mostly), it immediately became clear that my role was already filled to capacity (as evidenced by the somewhat amusing mime act).

‘Perhaps’, I think, ‘the group could handle two insane people’.

Captain: “Hey, how many times can I use acid splash every day?”

Darick: “Erm…as many as you want, I suppose”

Captain: “Excellent. I use acid splash on the wall repetitively”

‘No, probably not.'

So then…

Who am I?

…

I could be anybody.

And so I became anybody.

Next time: A Matter of Honor

Interlude

Right...so there's going to be a small transition, because our DM ran into some stuff at the end of the summer and decided that he was going to go to college. I think that was actually his plan all along.
So I joined a group that is run by none other than our good friend Cask. He runs a version of D&D called "Pathfinder". It's actually quite similar in just about every way.
The group had already been going for quite a while before I joined, so I kind of barge into their story a bit.
As it begins (for me, anyway), the group is inside a bubble traveling to submerged ocean caves....

Epilogue

   Hans dreamt of penguins. He was floating with them, kicking around a colorful beach ball. It was pleasantly warm and bubao-free.

   Running water broke into Hans's dream. At first he didn't really think about it, but the longer it went on, the more urgently his lungs reminded him what a necessary commodity air really was. Finally it reached the point where his lungs got so annoyed about being ignored that they told his slowing heart to tell his depleted blood to send a painful message to his brain.

   (Doesn't this seem just like Hans?)

   After a series of annoying processes that most people called "Dying", Hans finally got bored with the penguins and decided to find somewhere where he could do more interesting things, like perhaps inhale. Opening his eyes, he realized that his heart wasn't doing it's job very well, but decided he would worry about that later, as he had more pressing matters at hand. The edges of his vision were going black, and he was pretty sure that he hadn't had lunch.

   Lunch first.

   He reached around for his pack before realizing it was missing.

   Curses! I must have left it with the penguins.

   Without any food, now he was really starting to panic. Luckily (to his lungs' great disapproval) his heart decided that adrenaline was a decent replacement for oxygen and gave a small skip of joy. This made his arms and legs twitch just enough to propel him forward a tiny bit. He fell headfirst out of the water, which seemed to be held back by an invisible force.

   After his lungs enjoyed a short holiday, Hans had recovered enough to look around. It seemed he was in a really small cave.

Chapter 6-A Wing and a Prayer

   You might remember from last time that Zulu had just destroyed part of the portal to the evil demon place. The demon place that Chase greatly wanted us to explore. He would NOT be cheated of his story so easily as that!

   Naturally, bubaos can teleport.

   Naturally, they kidnap spiders.

   As the portal begins to close, Bobo teleports out and takes Frank's spider.

   You know, it's crazy, but I've spent the past three months telling you about a single meeting. Since it was the last one this group would have, we were stretching it out as long as possible. The plan was to go until past dark, as it was the last week of summer vacation (I know, right? This was forever ago.) But even this meeting had to end.

   But not yet. It was only 3:00, and it was still going strong. Unfortunately, this was it for me. I never found out what happened to Frank's spider. I had to leave for band camp. And so I sadly bid my friends farewell, wishing I had stayed in the demon realm.

   Here's the story: without Hans.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   Frank looked around. Hans had disappeared again. No big surprise. Yet something seemed off. He did a double take and realized that something else was missing.

   Where was his spider? He could have sworn it had just been attacking the portal. Listening carefully, he heard a rustling in the bushes. He looked over his shoulder. His...friends...were all still gathered around Zulu. He crept forward and pulled back the leaves.

   To his surprise, it looked as if something huge had fallen from the sky straight into this spot, then vanished again. Looking closer, he realized the tracks merged with those of a much lighter (and more familiar) animal.

   "Can bubaos teleport?" he wondered aloud.

   Dova heard him. He came over and looked over Frank's shoulder. "Yeah, I think so."

   Frank shivered. It was nerve-wracking to have the dragonborn so close behind him. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad if Dova wasn't seven feet tall and carrying a masterwork great axe.

   If Dova noticed, he didn't show it. He seemed to be trying to remember something.

   "Yeah, they can," he said at last. "But only short distances."

   Suddenly Frank felt a tremendous pain in his forehead. Someone--or something--was hurting his pet.

   Dova drew his axe. "What is it?" he asked.

   "It's this way," Frank muttered. He stumbled forward, drawing his bow and trying to fit an arrow to it.

   Dova called the others over and followed Frank into the undergrowth.

(I wasn't there, so please forgive the creative liberties.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   I went to Band Camp and marched for, like, three hours. There weren't as many push-ups this year, and I wanted to tell those freshmen how easy they had it. Then I had an idea. I had an hour for dinner to use as I pleased.

   Three minutes later I was standing in Chase's dining room again, pulling out my character sheets.

   I don't know how it happened, but here it goes. From my battling friends, I managed to glean that they were back in the demon realm. I think Chase had pulled the classic "steal and lead away" trick. They had made their way to the tower and fought their way to the top. After that, things had gone downhill (get it? cuz they were at the top?). The Wizzard (aka 'Squishy') was dead, with no chance of revival. Two or three party members were entranced by the sirens that had killed him. The cleric was unconscious. The few remainders were desperately trying to fight off a giant demon bird (and the sirens and something else I think).

   In short, they needed a miracle.

   And I needed an entrance.

   I had a quiet talk with Chase as the others mourned their awful luck. I wanted to repair my broken temple sword to fight demons with. He told me this was impossible, but me rolling 3 perfect 20's in a row convinced him otherwise.

   Pay attention, because this is the climax.

   "Above the sound of battle, a bleat rings loud and clear. A cloud breaks and along the beam of light rides your friend Hans, seated firmly on a sheep. He draws his shattered temple blade, and it forms together in his hand, a newly reconstructed masterwork blade."

   (Okay, so maybe Chase didn't word it quite that way, but he should have. That is what happened, I just made the language a bit more poetic; because Chase is many things, and poetic is not one of them.)

   I grin appreciatively at this introduction and attack the first thing I see: namely, the bird. The sheep rears violently, proving that even herbivores can suffer bloodlust. For the next twenty minutes I basically save everyone with an incredible series of natural 20's. The sirens don't affect me on the grounds that they remind Hans too much of his sister Gretchen.

   The final meeting perhaps, but an incredible conclusion.