Chapter 5-Checking for Traps

Chapter 5-Checking for Traps

            One important thing to know about kobolds is that they love setting traps. By nature, they are very cowardly (kind of like bubaos). With clever and deadly traps, they can get the upper hand without actually putting themselves in danger.

            The Monk and Drake (Jacob BTW) provided the light. Drake had a light spell that he could cast infinite amounts of times every day (he generally used the soup bowl that he got from the Gnoll) and The Monk was holding a glowing human skull. Now that they could see their surroundings, everyone could see that the walls and ceiling were lined with rocks hanging from strings, steel traps, trip wires, holes that probably held spikes, and one thing that looked frighteningly similar to a guillotine.

            Slim Shady took his time making sure every single trap was disabled, by which point the kobolds had long ago escaped. Belial (his personal slave, as you might remember) was following him around, offering a waterskin every time he stopped moving for more than a few seconds. Eventually Shady just banished him to a corner and had him stand on his head.

            I’m not entirely sure what kind of a creature Belial actually is. Not human, as far as I can tell. I think he’s some sort of shadow creature that was specifically designed to fit Shady’s evil needs. I’m not sure Belial is even entirely corporeal. We just ignore him most of the time. Look up his name in the Bible Dictionary.

            The funny thing about Dungeons and Dragons (and its breakoffs, like Pathfinder) is that you see plenty of the dungeons, but Dragons are extremely sparse. The problem with dragons is that they are extremely dangerous. All of them. If you present a dragon to a new group, they’ll probably kill themselves trying to fight it. Even if you give a dragon to a set of veterans, they’ll hesitate to get anywhere near it. Because dragons kill people. Sorry. Sidenote.

            At this point, I’m worried that a detailed description would bore you. So the abridged version: in the next room Shady checked for traps, found many, and disarmed them. In the room after that, the process repeated. Hans was forced to go first, just in case he missed any.

            As Shady tied the final wire into place, there was the sound of footsteps echoing from somewhere. A panel that looked suspiciously like a wall slid open.

            Immediately Shady’s knives were out. The Captain pulled his seven-foot-long lance out of nowhere (he can do stuff like that. Don’t ask questions). Drake stood in the “ready” position, preparing to defend his honor. Very Klingon of him. Etc. Hans didn’t really do anything. He was still a bit out of it (in reality I was writing up a new character sheet. It was going to be awesome. I even had my entrance planned; it would be the sort of entrance that would spare Hans’ life).

I’m terrible at fight scenes, and once again I wouldn’t want to bore you. Suffice it to say, Shady wiped them out quickly.

            Brennen leaned over to Darick, who was consulting his Bestiary manual. When Darick saw he was looking, he immediately snapped the book shut.

            Brennen straightened with a knowing grin on his face.

            Groaning, Hans struggled to get out from under a kobold that looked a lot like Carl. No one offered any assistance, despite his injuries. Everyone had survived, as per usual. It occurred to him that Shady and the Monk were the only ones who ever killed anything.

            After everyone had recovered, the group resigned itself to the daunting task of entering the next room. Shady was about to start disabling traps when his eyes strayed across the bodies of the kobolds strewn across the ground. Being evil, he came up with an evil idea.

            Why not have Hans check for traps?

            Shady easily picked up Carl’s body and tossed it aside. Before Hans could offer confused thanks, his wrists were tied up.

            Before anyone could do anything else, there was a crash, followed quickly by a few twangs and the sound of metal against rock.

            Then silence.

            Peering into the next room, the group saw a rather horrific sight. Carl’s body was looking rather mutilated. I won’t go into details.

            From that point forward, Carl checked for traps for us. There wasn’t much left of him by the time we were done. The kobolds didn’t attack again; the message was clear enough.

            Eventually we reached the point where we tossed Carl into the next cave and heard nothing but a dull thud. We all cautiously poked our heads through. Nothing but a hunk of tortured reptilian meat (sorry, that was kind of gruesome). We caught sight of a huge cavern and a wide flight of stairs before all the lights went out. Even Drake’s soup bowl refused to give light.

            We carefully crept into the darkness, carefully avoiding the aforementioned meat. There was a dim glow ahead, similar to a fire wrapped in some dark material—perhaps leather. A low rumble filled the air at even intervals, always accompanied by the smell of smoke. The pattern on the material shifted ever so slightly.

            We all waited patiently as Darick took a brief restroom break.

            Somebody tripped and stumbled and the rumbling abruptly stopped. In the darkness a shining eye opened. A shape quietly reared up.

            A shape Hans knew well.

            It was a Dragon.

Next time: Negotiations